18 November 2016

What it means to be a father

Nov 19th is International Men's day. For this day, we need to understand the importance of being a man. What makes a man, a man? One way to define it is to comprehend the various roles he could fulfill during his lifetime, that of a son, a brother, a husband, a father, a grandpa, a mentor, a boss, an entrepreneur, a societal change agent, a sportsman, a movie hero. 
A picture of one of my acquaintances, Manjunath with his sons

Many people whom I have met have told me that "my father is my hero" or "my father is my first hero". Is still remember my daughter telling me few years ago,  that she thought I was stronger than the superheroes on tv. Well that is the image a father has to rationalize and live up to.  Fatherhood is a great responsibility in itself. A child's persona is shaped by many experiences.

I take this opportunity to share an fb post from of a person whom I know. Abhay had written it when his father had left him. I'd request the reader to go through this and think over and reflect upon it deeply. This post is also an inspiration to all men aspiring to be fathers. Because, I reiterate that fatherhood is a great responsibility in itself.

Here is the link to the post & the text of it:



This eulogy is dedicated to my dear Dad, whose untimely passing on 18th night has left me, my sister and my mother steeped in grief.Death is inevitable. Mortality is the ultimate reality. A mirror against our various accomplishments. Whether we chose to believe it or not, our mortality gives meaning to life. We work towards accomplishing something in life due to its time limit. Unlike the expectation of infinite time to live, the reality, like life itself, is very chaotic and unpredictable. We have a limited time to spend with our loved ones. This time, once gone can lead to regret. To truly live life to the fullest, one needs to live each day with joie de vivre. The best example to my mind was my dad. He always was happy-go-lucky and lived and loved to the fullest. As a doctor, his duty beckoned him everyday to save lives. He excelled in it and was one of the best surgeons in his field. Despite this, he always took care of us, gave us time, advised us in difficult situations and was there for us. 

Now that he has left us for a better place, we are steeped in grief. The sorrow we feel does not have any depths. Yet in this moment, I imagine my dad, tapping me on my shoulder, telling me not to only experience grief but remember him for the best moments we had with him. The life he lived is living in the memories we have. To simply grieve is not enough. To honor his memory, I will try to remember him as I knew him best - the Superman in my life!
My dad, the first person to lift me on his shoulders as a baby, the person who encouraged me to ask questions and follow my curiosity always! My dad, the guy who taught me to enjoy the small pleasures in life, like mishti doi, like watching cartoons on holidays without any guilt, sleeping like a log while letting go of the pressures which you face during the day. My dad, who taught me by example, the value of patience and to roll with the throw of dice and accept life's puzzling situations. My dad, who enjoyed on every holiday we took, showing us the best way to relax and enjoy the moment. My dad, the first man to show me how to shave, to act mature and yet retain your inner child. My dad, who showed being stoic and emotional at the same time is not impossible, but a necessity, who taught me to evaluate objectively and yet be empathetic to the plight of people. My dad, who taught me learning languages can be a hobby, to interact with many people a benefit of an army life. My dad, who showed me being a polite person doesn't make you a pushover, and being stern when necessary doesn't make you a bad person. My dad, who punished me several times but also taught me the importance of keeping one's anger in check, who showed being accepting of one's mistakes doesn't cause one to be looked down upon. My dad, who was the pillar of support for his family, yet nurtured me to be there for our family when he could not be reached. My dad, who valued my opinion in major decisions and yet always managed to show me another aspect which I missed. My dad, who was proud of us and yet humble about his achievements, who always looked for new areas to learn. 

My dad, who I look up to, am proud of and wish he would have been there for a while longer. My dad, who is now with me in my heart and will be my guiding light for the rest of my life. I just hope I live up to his dreams and become the man he hoped I would become. I miss you Dad! Rest In Peace Colonel K.S.Kumar, SM.

PS: Once a man becomes a father, typically maybe 20-30 years pass before he could become a grandad. These  inbetween years are made of few hundred weekends. I'd want to make each and every weekend count. To spend quality time with loved ones, especially the next gen, making sure that I'm a good influence. Teaching them how to live. Of course, less gadgets.

Finally, wishes to all the men on Men's day

Keep rocking,

Prabhakar MN
Satan Infernous

Note: This is one of the blog entries. To read the entire blog click here:

About the author:
Prabhakar MN started his career as a blue collar workman,traversed an unbeaten path to complete full time MBA at XLRI & become a Director at BPO. Prabhakar may be reached at mnpsatan13@gmail.com